Grieving Losses After Abuse

For most of my life, I ran from my feelings. I avoided them to survive because I wasn’t ready. I … More

How I Cope with a Bad Day

This is how I cope with a bad day. I say a bad day but it can last for weeks. … More

Fighting the Old Programming from Abuse

Today I am fighting with the old programming or beliefs about myself. There is this unease. I tend to feel … More

I’m Depressed. Now what? (free writing)

I don’t like being lonely but I prefer it over being mistreated and disrespected. I survived so much. I will trust myself. In this choice I protected myself because I am important to myself. I don’t deserve to be in pain. I made it stop.

What I like About Myself

For most of my life I have hated myself. I can remember not hating myself, when the world had more … More

What You Need to Heal

It turns out that no one is coming to save you but you. In order to help yourself you will needs lot of things to help you on your healing journey. There are tons of resources, treatments, medications, ect out there and you really have to just find what works best for you. Below is what I have found that helps me so far.

Trained Victim

I found this piece that I wrote back in 2009. This was before I had a blog or really told … More

The Mistake

I’ve been The Nothing lately. There have been brief periods of flashbacks and memories. Mostly, I’m blank or angry(memories of … More

I Have a Lot to Live For

I could tell you about my suicide attempts, the thoughts of wanting it to end, and the events that led … More

My Best Effort is Good Enough

I am very strict and hard on myself. I usually feel like I am not doing enough even if I … More