Today I am fighting with the old programming or beliefs about myself. There is this unease. I tend to feel like I am not doing life right, not doing whatever task correctly. It’s a prickly feeling and I armor my back muscles like I’m bracing for an attack. It creates feeling like not being confident … More
This week it has come to my attention that I have really come a long way in my healing since 2019. In 2019 I was about 5 years into healing full time and working to better my life. I was having several panic attacks a week, nightmares, flashbacks and a whole lot of other awful … More
For most of my life I have hated myself. I can remember not hating myself, when the world had more color, before I was abused. Everything changed then including how I felt about myself. Through the abuse I was told and taught many incorrect things about myself. I mean really, how could anyone know what … More
The 1st thing is recognizing that I’m angry. Ok, I am REALLY angry. The reason for my anger is my heartache over being abused in the 1st place, and there is a long list that unfolds from there. Current events are also disheartening. I’m an trying my best to not be depressed and just lay … More
Yes, I said it. Establishing boundaries can feel really bad at 1st. I currently feel multiple things about my recent purging of toxic people in my life. Again. I am beginning to accept that this will be a constant in my life and there won’t be a day when I am not susceptible to toxic … More
Coping in Advance If you know you are going to be watching the news and it may be triggering for you you can prepare in advance. I like to do this for all sorts of situations like when I am going somewhere new. Show up a few minutes early and get situated with your snack … More
It turns out that no one is coming to save you but you. In order to help yourself you will needs lot of things to help you on your healing journey. There are tons of resources, treatments, medications, ect out there and you really have to just find what works best for you. Below is what I have found that helps me so far.
I have been doing a lot of writing even though this blog has not been getting regular updates. I have notebooks I write in but I’ve been free writing on twitter and letting it fly. It’s been liberating and I feel more free than ever. I don’t keep the abuser’s secrets anymore. It’s more clear … More
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