For most of my life, I ran from my feelings. I avoided them to survive because I wasn’t ready. I could not cope with the truth of what had happened to me. I was still just surviving every day, every minute while trying to hide all those pent up feelings, thoughts, and memories at the … More
In the years that I have been healing full time I have definitely gone through the stages. I’m currently in a place where I want to move forward with my life. I’m not interested in talking about the details of the abuse anymore. I’m not interested in talking about the abusers anymore or why they … More
I was triggered into a depressive episode after having a severe infection. The feelings and signs were all there but I felt helpless to change things. Even as I practiced the coping skills that I had learned I felt myself sink longer and lower into the depression. I can handle 5-7 things going on but … More
Do you know what your early warning signs that things are letting you know that you are feeling worse? They can be subtle but with self awareness it’s possible to catch yourself before you head into a difficult time or at least understand what is going on. Understanding myself is a huge advantage in helping … More
This is how I cope with a bad day. I say a bad day but it can last for weeks. As I am healing more the week long or month long stretches of depression and anxiety along with my other symptoms have decreased but I still have bad days and bad weeks. I hope the … More
I though I was well enough to start working more. I made a schedule and really poured myself into having a routine and my next steps mapped out. I was tired but I didn’t think much of it. Tired is pretty much my normal. Then I started to gradually feel worse and worse. Some sores … More
I am in a new part of healing now. A lot of very difficult work has paid off and I am in a much calmer place in my life. After 7 years of practice I can truly see the benefits of my meditation practice. I use meditation in conjunction with other skills to help myself … More
In 2014, when I started really taking my healing seriously, I was having a very difficult time coping with my CPTSD due to child abuse and domestic violence. Although these things were in my past, they were still at the forefront of my mind. I was a mess with anxiety attacks, nightmares, and generally was … More
Today I am fighting with the old programming or beliefs about myself. There is this unease. I tend to feel like I am not doing life right, not doing whatever task correctly. It’s a prickly feeling and I armor my back muscles like I’m bracing for an attack. It creates feeling like not being confident … More
This week it has come to my attention that I have really come a long way in my healing since 2019. In 2019 I was about 5 years into healing full time and working to better my life. I was having several panic attacks a week, nightmares, flashbacks and a whole lot of other awful … More
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