My name is Sarah Garlits and I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, partner rape, domestic violence and attempted murder. I have Complex PTSD because of the trauma I experienced. I am doing my best to improve my life and find peace. I currently live NY State, USA. I am 40 years old. You might also know me as Sarah Blake, which was my stage name for about 15 years in adult entertainment. When my symptoms became worse in 2013 I had to stop working and focus on my healing. I started healing full time in August 2014. I started this blog on Jan 9, 2015.
There is a lot of shame and guilt that goes along with being a survivor and I am on a personal quest to let go of that feeling, to live up to my potential, to heal, to fulfill my dreams now that I am free of abusive people tearing me down and holding me back. What happened to me is not my fault. I did not cause the abuse to happen, abusers chose to hurt me and that’s on them. I am an adult now that is no longer helpless and taking charge of my life and healing.
My hope is that by sharing my experiences with you and my healing journey, there is a better understanding in the world about what happens to people like me. Maybe there will be some eyes opened, some minds broadened, and encourage compassion and understanding for other survivors. I hope that the survivors that read my blog and watch my vlogs can feel a sense of not being alone or the only one that feels the way they do, they are not crazy, and someone cares about them. I care.
Please know that I am not speaking for all survivors and can only answer questions based on my own feelings and experiences. Each survivor is unique as well as their experience and how they are doing. Everyone handles things in their own time and that’s ok.
Where else can you find me?
I in 2008 I saw a video I found you because your stunning by its beauty that fascinates, but I never thought I would become my friend on social networks because you are my sweet dear superstar, thanks to you I realized that you guys are not women beauty that enchants but your character and humble because you were created to be a person who reach their goals in all long walk on the road of life.
But can you here with me always count on your Vinicios friend even if our distance is long am I most always with my thoughts on you dear! And I always remembered you until eternity because it was the first woman in whom I have always been passionate !
Sarah blake I’m not so fa the sarah porn star but rather I am fa of beautiful and gorgeous woman you are! And you are a more important woman’s life! I love you my dear!
Sarah, we have connected on Twitter and through Facebook. I have seen your videos, bought you Christmas gifts, and spoken briefly to you through social media. I had seen some posts about the above info but like an ass, I never put two and two together. First please allow me to apologize for being so insensitive. Secondly, let me say that the more I get to know about you the more impressive you become. You’re an inspiration and I’m happy you blog and communicate about these things to others. People can learn a lot from you, myself included. I have told you on multiple occasions how much I’d love to meet you and buy you dinner etc. I meant that. Now however, I really wish I could even more. I truly believe we could be great friends. Anyway, I apologize for talking your ear off. You are quite the impressive lady (I mean Lady, too). Keep inspiring others.
Thank you Mike! I think we could be great friends too. No need to apologize to me. You haven’t hurt me or made me uncomfortable in any way. Your supportive comments mean a lot to me so keep it up 🙂
In the immortal words of Carey Elwes, “As you wish!” Since you have my email, if you would ever like to talk, chat etc please feel free to email me and I will send you my personal cell number. I think getting to know the real you would be awesome. Of course the downside being you’d have to get to know a short (5’10”), hairy, Italian guy, with a belly, big chin and man boobs. Lucky you.
Hi Sarah, I’m a survivor myself and I recently a work of “fiction” as a way to share some of my own truth. I found your blog while looking for related links to post to my own blog (same title as the book). I was so inspired by your writing that it helped me make a decision about talking more candidly about my experiences and how they affected my growth and development. I would sincerely like to talk more with you about this and maybe even having you as a guest blogger. Please contact me if interested. Notice how sincere I am, I didn’t even plug the book title. ?
People in my family still make excuses for my abusive parents, even after years and years of evidence.
I’m trying to figure out how to state a blog on sexual abuse, some where people can let out their stories. I’m very new at this and need a little help on blogging.
I am a survivor myself.. I was molested at age 3 & 4 by my moms boyfriend at the time.. I had to go through therapies before I was even in kindergarten. It’s a terrible thought, I hate remembering anything that happened to me then. That is probably the only thing I remember from those ages because it was so traumatizing. I am now 19.
Hi, grateful to have found your blog. I am a survivor as well. I’m 42 and was raped by my mother’s boyfriend when I was 9. I love how you put a picture of yourself in childhood as opposed to a current one. Go you! We’ll get there. My blog if you want to check it out is resilientnstrong.com
Hello Sarah, I just want to say that I know exactly how you feel. In fact, I wrote a book with respect to healing that I too have been going through for the last 25 years.
My book is called “ Filling my Void with Light” Author: Spirit Woman. I chose that name because it is exactly how I have felt was my refuge going through this. The link is here if you want to see my book and what has worked for me. We are the true champions.
We premiered a short film, KRISTA, at SxSw last month. It won two awards, including a special jury award for acting for our 17 year-old lead, Shirley Chen. I am reaching out to you because our film is about assault, and one girl finding a way to find her own voice and sense of strength. We have had some incredibly powerful messages in response, coming from young women identifying with KRISTA.
We have the film available for free on Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/259943563
We are trying to figure out how to build a bigger conversation where the film can enable more people to find their voice alongside KRISTA. We have had amazing success so far within the film community, but those aren’t the people that we have made the film for.
Previously, we created hand drawn animation Confusion Through Sand about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. We partnered with numerous veteran organizations and blogs to create their own discussions around the film. The responses were so profound, and impactful for the viewers who were be able to experience the film together through those outlets.
Please, let us know any questions that you have about KRISTA. And thank you for everything that you do for people that need to know there is someone listening.
Ben and the KRISTA team
I realize in the past couple of weeks that I really need to tell my story… thought about writing the book but got scared people would judge and not even know me… or not believe it happened. I have also wanted to be apart of the abused and neglected children as I was one of those. Speaking out about domestic violence as I was a victim. I just lost my oldest child and have felt the need to give some support but a very hard thing to do or to find information or organizations where you can volunteer. Can you give me some advice because through all of this I am a survivor but was victim to all of these things. Look forward to hearing from you soon you inspired me to say something the only person I have reached out to. CONGRATULATIONS
I just read several of your posts. Your suggestions are very helpful. I’m writing a memoir about my experiences, hoping like you to shed light into secrets that hold us hostage. Thanks for your work.
Passed by this blog, and I feel a little less alone and a little less broken. Thank you.
I don’t really know what to say but I feel extremely compelled to connect with you, to reach out and hope you’re open to talking.
You story sounds remarkably similar to mine and then I find out your name is also Sarah and I felt the universe shift inside of me.
I felt compelled to find someone, something in the internet world today that I could relate to and you popped up. I am a childhood sexual assault survivor and partner sexual assault as well.
I also have multiple personality disorder that was diagnosed this year. I’m 29 years old and never realized I had other Me’s inside of Me until this year.
I’m also ENFP.
I just really would love to talk with you, if you have the time and pick your brain about some topics like – how do you feel sexy, welcome sexual feelings without feeling dirty or wrong? I have never had the chance to speak to anyone with similar experiences but have always fantasized about how nice it would be to not feel so different.
To you and all victims/survivors of abuse especially sexual abuse you are not alone, you are strong, and it was NOT your fault. Peace, bliss, and light to you always!