In the attempts at soothing myself I have done fucked it up(this is a good thing, keep reading). I made … More
Category: Free Writing
I Have a Lot to Live For
I could tell you about my suicide attempts, the thoughts of wanting it to end, and the events that led … More
Free Writing May 26, 2018
I miss touch. I don’t trust touch, but I miss it. I’m afraid of kindness and nice touches. I’m tensed … More
My Best Effort is Good Enough
I am very strict and hard on myself. I usually feel like I am not doing enough even if I … More
PTSD Episode
My anxiety and insomnia are back again. I’m in another PTSD Episode. This happens and will happen again and again … More
Completely Healed Complex PTSD?
I used to think being healed from complex PTSD and child sexual abuse meant that I didn’t have any lasting … More
Rewriting My Nightmares
Last night I had fitful sleep filled with nightmares. My brain is working on healing 24-7. Lack of restful sleep … More
Behind the Smiling Mask
For years my brain locked away years of memories of abuse and rape. At 10 some of these memories came … More
My PTSD is Trying to Kill Me Again
“I will take your sleep which in turn robs you of your patience, your energy, and your ability to heal … More
You Are a Bad Person- The Burden of Survivors
“You are a bad person.” “What’s wrong with you?” “Its your fault.” “You brought this on yourself.” This was the … More