My anxiety and insomnia are back again. I’m in another PTSD Episode. This happens and will happen again and again as I move through my life. The duration of the episodes get shorter and recovery time from the episodes grow shorter. I am becoming more resilient by practicing self care and self compassion like my life depends on it. Because it does. I feel more prepared to take care of myself now. Knowing what is happening and having a plan to take care of myself helps me so much during times like these. I’ve got this and I’m cranky about it all the same. I’m surviving on meditation, love, coffee, and a Spoonie/Goonies Never Say Die attitude.
I hope you are having a better day, dear reader, than I am. If you are having a crappy day too, know that I stand there with you in solidarity. Deep breathing and mindfulness meditation have been the most helpful for me. Art and writing in my journal when I need to express myself more. The insomnia has been creeping back as my anxiety worsened. I’m going to have to focus on sleep more this month. People talk about healing as some wonderful spiritual positive experience but the reality is that it hurts.
This month’s mantra is “Keep it Moving” and I plan to do just that. I am being more active and focused on myself. I refuse to let Complex PTSD kill me. Like I said before, I live.
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Really sad to hear you’re in a PTSD episode, but good to hear that the episodes are shorter now and recovery time is shorter too, that’s good progress!
I’m totally with you on meditation…I started practicing it around a year or so ago now plus I started doing basic yoga and I have to say it has helped enormously! My anxiety levels have dropped significantly and panic attacks are now very few and far between. I would recommend it to anyone who is suffering.
I agree with you that healing hurts, and hurts like hell too, after all, if someone is healing from a broken leg or cancer for example people wouldn’t say it’s a wonderful spiritual experience, well, it’s the same with healing a broken mind, it’s painful, exhausting, draining, and causes actual physical pain and symptoms. Plus add in the factors that many people just don’t understand mental illness too, just because you can look physically well ignorant people assume there’s nothing wrong with you, then you get the usual comments ‘oh snap out of it’ stop feeling sorry for yourself’ ‘think yourself lucky there’s nothing seriously wrong with you’ and there’s people in far worse situations than you’ etc etc
Just know Sarah that people on here do understand what you’re going through, and I for one totally admire the fighting spirit you are showing! We stand with you too!
Keep up the fight, I’m with you! Sending all my best wishes and thoughts
Dan
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I’m sorry that the shadows have been dark recently. As one who has been healing, I can agree that it hurts until the healing is complete (or complete enough). It’s great that you understand what you need to do, and are concentrating on it. That’s emotional courage in action. Good for you, and you’re not alone.
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