Breathing helps me a lot with my PTSD due to childhood sexual abuse and partner rape. I feel more grounded and the increased oxygen seems to help too. I’m having a really rough time in the video diary. I was doing great but today I feel nervous and anxious. Flashbacks are really getting to me and you can even see this happen in the video. I stop breathing, close my eyes or look off into no where(they call it the thousand yard stare, sometimes). This video is being filmed at the height of my anxiety and the worst part of my day.
After I filmed this video I did feel better and was exhausted. I still had a rough time but it was less because I voiced what was going on. I found that it helped me to further ground myself and stay in the present. Other things that can help me to ground myself are a hot back, walking outside, putting my feet on the ground, and of course, giving Buster a hug.
I hope with letting myself feel more, allowing myself to cry, and more therapy I can make it through these days feeling better and have more and more good days instead of the heartbreaking days like today. I joined Pandys.org today and I’m just waiting for approval of my account. I think being in touch with more survivors like myself will be a great help to me.